11182017Headline:

Sticks and Stones

"If I jump off the roof, there's only a 98% chance I'll break something. I'm doing it."

“If I jump off the roof, there’s only a 98% chance I’ll break something. I’m doing it.”

It’s been a busy week around the Split-level. As is the case for most households when a child flies off her bed and breaks her arm.

Oh yes, our dear Sundance, after executing a Double Sow Cow and finding a soft plastic race track to land on, became a brand new recipient of, what the nice old doctor referred to as a tiny “crinkle” in in her right arm. Not bad enough to be in a cast for weeks on end, but serious enough that we have to try desperately to keep an almost-three-year-old in a splint for two weeks.

What was that? I heard someone in the back ask what the three hardest things to accomplish in life are. Survey says:

Keeping a kid in a splint
Keeping a kid in a sling
Keeping an already injured kid from flying off the bed again

The only thing harder to accomplish with this whole ordeal is trying to explain to Sundance what’s going on, which we thought we did a pretty good job at, until it came time for her to explain it to the doctor…

Doctor: How’d you get hurt?

Sundance: I fell off my bed and broke my skeleton.

Doctor: That’s too bad.

Sundance: Yeah, it’s under my skin.

Doctor: What is?

Sundance: My skeleton. Daddy showed it to me.

Doctor: What?

Sundance: In his book.

Doctor: …

The above conversation was brought you by showing a toddler a picture of a skeleton on an iPad.

At any rate, the invalid is healing. The invalid is also sitting on my lap and forcing me to type this with one hand. Yay.

Paige Kellerman blogs about marriage, babies and gin at www.paigekellerman.com. You can reach her at paigekellerman@gmail.com.


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